I am such a dork

Apologies to Harry McClintock, the first known person to record this song. Click here if you aren't familiar with Big Rock Candy Mountain.

I give to you "Big Mulch Chicken Mountain".

Ha.

One evenin’ as the sun went down and the garden I was waterin’
O’er the yard came a fat Barred Rock who said woman I’m not roostin’
I’m headin for a land that’s far away beside the rooster fountain
So come with me and we’ll go and see the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain

At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain there’s a yard that’s fair and bright
Where the hornworms grow on bushes and you roost out every night
Where the nest boxes are all roomy and the sun shines every day
On the tender lettuce leaves and the earthworm trees
Where the cool water springs and the Orpingtons sing
At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain

At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain all the hawks have broken wings
All the raccoons’ teeth are missing and the snakes are tiny things
The farmers trees are full of fruit hanging just off of the ground
Oh, I’m bound to go where there ain’t no snow
Where the rain don’t fall and the wind don’t blow
At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain

At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain the hens can all soar high
Your feathers never all fall out and there’s no such thing as pot pie
There’s plenty of gravel for your gizzard with cracked corn mixed right in
I’m goin’ to stay where you scratch all day
The bugs never end, a fine place for a hen
At the Big Mulch Chicken Mountain

I make my own self laugh.