Still Behind

Lately I've not been looking forward to weekends. It seems like I have so much to do and I'm just feeling overwhelmed because I can't get it all done. Saturday I went to the local orchard to buy deer apples (poor quality, but $1.50 for 20 pounds!) for the chickens. Chickens love apples. Then on to Home Depot for more ceiling paint. Then on to Target for the semi-annual haul of petfood/paper products/cleaning products/personal hygiene products. Then the grocery store. Then home. To clean downstairs and do laundry. Make lasagna. Put another coat on guest room ceiling. Turn clocks back and make it into bed and lay awake thinking about the dirt in the kitchen sink (which did not get cleaned) and listen to the 40 mph winds knocking myriad branches into the yard that will need to be picked up. Sunday! Up at 7 because of blazing daylight which is most welcome! Read paper. Walk dogs. Clean bathrooms. Fertilize and wrap fruit trees. Fertilize and mulch rose bushes. Plant garlic. Sterilize and fill all bird feeders. Empty pots and all containers on front porch and back patio. Turn compost pile. Clean out chicken coop. Give dogs flea stuff. Pick up sticks and tons of limbs in yard. Move inside. Clean kitchen. Finish laundry. Talk briefly to friend who admits she didn't get out of bed until 11 a.m. Feel bitter. Think about painting and realize its after 7pm and I'm just tired. Eat leftover lasagna and read remainder of newspaper for an hour and go to bed. Feeling guilty about all the things on the to-do list that didn't get done.

I guess I need to do more on the weeknights but it just seems like I don't have the time after I get home from work and get settled and feed everybody. I'm messing up or something in terms of time management. I see people I work with and they go on fun little trips on weekends and do nifty fall things or spend the day at parks or hayrides. And I just don't understand. How do they have clean clothes, a clean home, a tidy yard, and still have time to do these things. And most of the time they have kids. Maybe they aren't sleeping. I sleep for 7 hours a night. Maybe I need to cut back. How do you have time to get all you need to get done and work a full time job? And I don't even have kids! I don't get it! I'm tired and I'm bitter and I'm sick of being on the verge of a panic attack every weekend. And it just makes it worse that the holidays are coming and there will be that much more to do.