Thursday, December 07, 2006

T-minus 53 hours and counting

Okay. Party is on Saturday at 5. Carpet, new dishwasher, and plumber were at the house yesterday. We paid for probably an hour to have a plumber tvisit us for ten short minutes to tighten bolts my husband forgot to tighten to keep water from pouring out of the bottom of the toilet tank. I do believe we have made yet another "idiotic homeowner' list in the greater Elizabethtown area. The dishwasher is super cool but a little intimidating. Why can't you buy a good quality basic dishwasher anymore? I want the stainless steel tub but I don't need all the fancy pants electronic stuff. I have never pushed a button other than "normal wash" in my entire life. A pre-rinse cycle? It's called rinsing it off really quick in the sink! Plus I want a real honest to God button. Not a touch pad thingy that I know damn well will break in a few years a cost a fortune to fix. Oh, and the carpet guys! Installed the carpet. Looks great, only it really reminds me of Triscuits and makes me hungry. Not good. Anyway, apparently after they installed the threshold into the bathroom, they tried the door to see if it would close. It is a pocket door. It did not close. They must have kept trying, because they broke said pocket door and quietly pushed it back into the slot and didn't say anything. And then they left. And now my husband is trying to fix it, which will involve many trips to Home Depot and removing the moulding and probably pulling up the threshold all of which will probably not be fixed and pretty by 5pm on Saturday. Stupid carpet installers!!!!


I am probably the last person in the world to realize this....but those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers? PFM! That stands for pure f*cking magic. I love those things. How have I lived lo these many years without using this miracle product? It took stains off that I had just assumed were permanent and had quit trying to remove. One word of warning: Do not wipe the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser on vinyl wall paper that has been in the kitchen for probably 20 or 30 years. It will make it several shades lighter, removing a micro-thin layer of time filth that you didn't realize was there because regular Windex does not touch time filth. And you will then be forced to Magic Erase EVERY WALLPAPERED SURFACE IN THE ROOM, lest your party guests see the one clean area and realize everything else if dirty! And then you will run low on Magic Erasers and be forced to triage stains so as not to completely be out of Magic Eraser and still have major stainage. And in your quest for super clean vinyl wall paper, you will miss the two carpet installers ripping your pocket door off the track and quietly sneaking away.

So tonight......the tree. And some more cleaning. And the fig cake. My husband is home today out picking a tree by himself. Alone. Pray for me.


Blogger EFB said...

That sux about the pocket door. you should call the carpet installers. that's soo lame.

Good lukc with the tree and party!

3:13 PM  
Blogger cyndy said...

You deserve a nice glass of wine and a hot tub....remember to breathe. Have a wonderful party!
(I'm with you on the Mr. Clean is amazing what it does..)

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

Sounds like you are all ready. Isn't it funny what we do before company comes? I even go downstairs and wash the cellar windows before my mom comes.

Have a good time at your party-- everything will be fine.

Oh, and thanks for the warning about the cleaning stick. I definitely don't want one very clean spot!!

6:02 PM  
Blogger Rurality said...

I love love love Magic Erasers! They really are magic.

Good luck with the party. Serve triscuits!

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're actually going to pull it all together. You get the carpet *and* the tree with a few hours to spare.

Those carpet installers NEED to fix your door. They need to.

Don't forget to start drinking before the guests arrive. And good luck!

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It will be a great time. Don't let anyone drink or eat on that carpet, though...(didn't you know you're supposed to replace carpet AFTER you have your party?)

And you do need to call those carpet folks to fix your door. Or at least get them to pay for your damage. But do it AFTER Saturday, eh?

have lots of fun...

4:47 PM  
Blogger Petunia's Gardener said...

Triscuit capeting - made me lol! I can tell you have lots humor and will have a great party! Enjoy the big day.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Judith said...

Pocket door nightmares! We have a pocket door to a small lavette and when we first moved in, the interior painters messed the door up and didn't tell turned into a nightmare with anybody & everybody attempting to fix it and nearly losing their mind...ever since, I give lessons to everybody on how to slide it and when I give parties, I leave a note on it warning that the guest who breaks it must secretly leave the premises immediately to find someone professional to fix the door. I love your humor! We are in same cleaning mode here. Can't wait to hear about your party! Enjoy!

9:06 AM  
Blogger wurwolf said...

Well, how did it go?! I hope you were able to get through it with minimal problems.

10:09 AM  

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